But I also understand the anxieties of independent artists …

I had 2 works produced as part of B Sharp (MYSTERIYAKI in 2000 and CONNIE AND KEVIN AND THE SECRET LIFE OF GROCERIES in 2001); both works worked well in the venue, and I worked for peanuts. But hey, no one goes into theatre for the money, the rewards lie elsewhere–in creative satisfaction, in having control over your work, and, importantly I think, in feeling a part of a community or organisation through your contribution/s. The B Sharp brand and that Downstairs theatre was built and thrived on the investment (sweat and talents as well as hard cash) of everyone who put on a show there. So it’s hardly surprising there’s a feeling of ownership and a measure of aprehension about where to from here.

Nevertheless, I look forward to seeing what the new integrated Belvoir offers, applaud the stand taken on paying artists, and what’s that saying? As one door closes, another one opens …

First up, although the grief may sound a little melodramatic and immature, in some ways it was necessary, as an acknowledgement of a loss and a change in direction. In my mind and heart I had hitched our project to the Belvoir Street star; if I wanted to give the show the best opportunity for excellence and integrity, B Sharp would be where it would happen, within that hallowed space and company and with all their production benefits. It represented a dream and hope for me as a new artist trying to build something from the ground up. I cried for the closing of that door. I also cried because the work we pitched was deeply personal and it embodied the most passionate of ‘passion projects’ for me. Also it was still in a vulnerable, nebulous form, desperate for some faith from those bigger, more experienced and established than I was.

For our theatre community to be entirely without the mentorship (or even the hope of mentorship) that B Sharp encompassed in its fairly unique position, housed within an MPA company, is a loss; a weep-on-the-floor loss even. Some people last night were visibly moved and I understand why. Others were angry and I felt that that was also a legitimate response. What we do at Independent level is often personal in one way or another, it’s passionate and it’s from within a community that has created a contract based on mutual love and growth. Money is often just a means to an end in this sector; it’s certainly not the leading factor – that’s one of the essences of Independence. This is particularly true in the early years of artistry and, let’s face it, that’s where some of the most amazing, unique and surprising work blossoms.

I’ve spent 13 years as a practicing artist (in the overall balance I am much more ‘practicing’ than professional) and now, in my 30’s, money is a bit more of a factor in my decisions, out of necessity for survival and sustainability (…but mostly I still stay a fairly hopeless romantic Gus). We know that Company B needs to mature too and that means leading with the economic argument (which, by the way, is good for artists’ pockets but not so good for Company B). Anyone who has poured long-term effort and energy into their careers would appreciate the sweet chime of the paid model and I trust that, given I had a hot project and/or team, I’d now have the confidence to approach Company B (what’s more, there’s two potential professional spaces instead of one). That’s really exciting. The maturing pragmatist in me rejoices. But then I think about that girl on the bedroom floor, lying there dramatically, as if a carcass of her former self. She’s a graduate from an institution somewhere, she’s in her twenties, she wants to do something…tell a story somewhere with the gravitas and history of Belvoir Street and all that it represents. She’s naïve, isolated, she’s a bit ego-centric and obsessive, but she really, really wants to grow and belong to something greater than her. She wants access to plentiful, transparent opportunities within a venue that her Industry and peers have told her is legitimate, safe and respected (and we all know how long those factors take to build and establish inside any organisation). What of her and others like her? I can’t help but feel that she and her ‘friends’ have lost something within the proposed new model, an empowerment of sorts, and so, as a theatre community we have lost something.

Very specifically, there had been a person/people inside Company B who represented a truly Independent interest and vision. There was a clearly named face or faces, and a pathway. In a lot of ways that’s what many of us can’t bare the loss of. That very visible and real relationship is one that we don’t want to see severed. Realistically, Ralph won’t have the time to carry that torch, so who will? Specifically. Or, do we actually need to face up to a full-blown Loss for Independents? I’m just not sure yet…or am I in denial?

Of course the “yeah but” moment in this story is that the project we pitched was picked up by someone else, the fabulous and amazing TRS, a move that proved absolutely perfect in the overall organic of things, with the show eventually making far greater returns than we had ever imagined from the original $5000 investment, combined with the copious time, skill and faith from the involved team. So…end of argument? Not really.

In short, yes, there are other spaces and opportunities (thank god for that and I can’t wait to see them grow in response to this decision – working at Cleveland St Theatre, I must say that space is hungry for a connection with good artists inside workable models) but the community deeply values the very unique doorway that B Sharp has represented for many artists and creative producers. Many of us were there last night for our own interests, but also for the interests of us as a network of growing artists. One of the beautiful dichotomies of our “Independent” work is that we can ONLY do it through the support of one another. THAT’S the bottom line. We were there for those on the way through, those who actually love and adore the ethos and the benefits of the Independent model, and maybe we were grieving the potential disenfranchisement of those artists specifically. At this juncture it’s very important that Company B fully understand the shape and feel of those artists and weigh up and acknowledge the size of their potential impact in those artists’ lives and within the network (and potential audience) that they’re a part of; the gains as well as the losses. And the question remains: is there some adjustment or concession that can be made so that the “essential” of what B Sharp represented is retained and made visible?

Lastly, at the end of this VERY long rave (this will do me for some time I’d say)…what Ralph and Brenna did last night took EXTREME guts (particularly for someone so new to the job). I felt very grateful for it and I think that, as much as there is a lot of uncertainty at this time, we all feel that it was the start of conversation worth continuing…A big round of applause for forums, as hairy and scary as they may be. I wish Ralph all success, joy, positiveness and the deserved and necessary unadulterated celebration that any new appointment brings (another big clap for his thoughts on Australian stories) and I look forward to seeing what’s ahead.

I’ve got some other ideas for the Downstairs Space and seek feedback from Gus’s other friends as to preferred option.

1. Memorabilia Room for Armfield Era!

2. Billiard table for people bored with Upstairs show but have to wait for friends who decide to sit it out!… See More

3. I move into one corner with a mattress and a primus stove and pay full equity rates to any group who wants to come in and entertain me – short review on my website for posteriority!

4. Any other useful suggestions – eg reverse garbage drop off point?

5. Or someone gives Gus whole new venue of her own to run – which we know she would share and curate in the most creative and generous way to suit diverse indie sector!!

Regardless how this change ends up panning out at least we’re talking about the future of independent theatre in a way we weren’t a week ago. And I think we need to keep talking, tonight felt like the tip of the iceberg. I kinda felt that there were two conversations being had tonight. One about how Company B is changing its operation and will engage with artists in the future and one about how independent theatre needs to evolve. They’re both worth talking about but they’re different discussions and I hope they both get the exploration they deserve.

Although its Company B who has gotten us all talking I don’t think its a just a Company B issue, in the same way as last year it was the launch of Company B’s season that got us talking about women in theatre as an industry wide issue this move has gotten us talking about the issues of independent theatre, not just B Sharp. I really hope that some of the broader issues raised tonight don’t get lost in the minutiae of Company B’s plans for 2011.

That said I’m finding it hard to form a solid opinion other than “everyone talk more” right at this point. Sleep time.