Vale James Waites: Lover of and fighter for the underdog, the glamour puss and all the quirky ratbags
- February 12th, 2014
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James Waites 06.03.1955 – 12.02.2014
Today was a difficult day. The usual morning practicalities and logistics changed with a text message from my mentor and friend, and a voicemail message from a concerned stranger.
James Waites has passed away.
In the early hours of this morning, James went down to Coogee beach for his last swim.
James Waites was a lover.
Many knew his life through a string of reviews and articles about theatre. He was the first to be openly out as a gay writer for a mainstream newspaper.
Jimmy with Madame Lash
Friend and confidant of Patrick White, contemporary of William Yang, friend to countless artists including Jim Sharman: James was ever-present at the start of so many luminaries careers, cheering on the underdog, the undiscovered the left of centre and the unusual.
The luminaries
He loved theatre – for the opportunity it gave to express and engage ideas and feelings. He loved artists and brave statements. And embraced them all with a huge amount of enthusiasm and love.
Having a first read of a Patrick White unpublished manuscript
As his website states:
“James Waites loves are dogs and actors: “Both species are cute to pat, excel in performing wonderful tricks, and lick you all over for humble rewards like liver treats and pieces of cheese ” he observes.”
James Waites was a fighter.
He once told me that being a critic was “really a mix of parish priest and dentist” – and you had to be the bravest to stand up and applaud when everyone else was too scared to. He called a spade a spade – and got fired for it on more than one occasion. He would refuse to clap, exclaim something was “utter crap” if it lacked heart or empathy. He walked his talk. He was brave… early on nick-naming Cate Blanchett and Andrew Upton “Glitter and Fluffy.”
He fought not only battles of the intellect and popular opinion, but physical battles. He had suffered great physical pain, living with a range of illnesses and chronic pain and recently diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease which would keep him up at night in fear and frailty. However, his battles were often put aside for others and he often pushed through to present at opening nights.
James Waites loved the underdog.
Look, he loved all dogs. But especially the underdog. His compassion knew no bounds, taking care of lost and stray pups from multiple walks of life… sometimes offering them shelter, food, what little money he had, comfort, perspective. And often this was not to his benefit. He was the first to “find” Paul Capsis and told me how as soon as he met him – he knew he’d be a star. He spotted Steve Peacocke in 2010 deeming him the next Hollywood hero (and yes that has also come to pass) – he had a genuine midas touch of finding talent and promoting it in his wry and cheeky way.
James Waites kept company with Australia’s best and brightest.
On the table in his dining room was a folder of photos for me to scour through. Photos and postcards of him at dinner, on couches, in foyers with Australia’s best and brightest… Everyone knew James. James knew and loved everyone. Even if there were a few overly colourful stories or cheeky secrets of misbehaviour amongst his peers, friends and colleagues, James loved them all. And loved them especially for their flaws.
James Waites was a romantic.
He’d love love stories. He loved romance. Cuddles from handsome men. Sweet words. He didn’t understand why so much sex in Australian theatre seemed so mechanical and forced and unromantic.
I loved James Waites.
He was more than a critic to me.
He was more than a mentor. More than a friend.
James was also my family. I am the keeper of his history, and I’ll be arranging his memorial in the next few days.
He likened us to Grotowskian wolves howling to each other in the darkness. At 2am or 6am or 1pm whenever – I’d stop to answer his call. He’d stop to answer mine. We spoke, texted or wrote to each other daily in the last 2 years of his life.
We were collaborators. I read all his reviews and edited made suggestions – for the Australian Book Review, his essay for Belvoir’s 25th Anniversary Book. His Currency House Platform paper: Whatever Happened to the STC Actor’s Company. He’d read me, give me notes… tell me when I was on track… or too soft. He introduced me to everyone.
People he loved, artists he admired. The arts was his life. His community meant everything to him.
Though he couldn’t write often due to his energy levels and the side effects of medication and his Parkinsons… but a facebook post attracting comment and likes from his community would inspire him for days.
Thank you to all those who have called and messaged, texted and contacted me. It’s a sad day for us as we have lost a gentleman, a lover, a parish priest, a dentist, a thinker and one of the worlds most generous humans.
Whilst I begin with the paper and preparations – tying up loose ends and getting things in order – I am reminded through the flood of love, well wishes, offers to assist, offerings of condolences and deed-doing… what a truly remarkable community James gathered around him – full of loving generous, adventurous, compassionate souls. How proud he is, was and would be of how we have come together in this sad moment.
And I will miss him.
Forever. More than anyone will know, and more than I can fathom right now.
As I left Maggie Blinco’s house today, she reminded me of a story that summed James up. Last Christmas she was walking with him and they passed a drunk man on the street who was lying in full Summer sun. James, with little strength and coordination picked up the man, moved him into the shade. The man fell back asleep not knowing that a stranger had helped him.
I thank James for all he has done, to make sure I was sheltered. I already miss his shelter and the comfort of knowing he’s there.
Details of a memorial service will be announced on Friday 21st February 2014 at http://jameswaites.com/ . The memorial will be open to all who loved him, all he loved and those who respected and revered this irreverent, energetic, larrikin statesman of Arts and Culture.
Yours is a beautiful love story Gus James chose you well and you, together, lit up theatre foyers. To have a soulmate, an adventurer, a companion, an intellectual provocateur, a sharer of all those moments when the lights go down is a precious wonderful gift. He had such hopes for you, we talked of how you will do extraordinary things and how we must ensure we are all around you. James always thought of others with such insight and care. Far from a Perfect Day it is absolutely the right thing to play today.
Beautiful words
How lucky you both were to find each other invthe sea of humanity but it seems rather inevitable that you did. Your tribute was very moving..he sounds like a wonderful human being and what a world it would be if there were more of him. I hope in your strength you are able to manage your deep sense of loss on so many levels snd take care of yourself as he would have crrtainly wished you to. C
Hey Augusta – thank you so much for this. James taught me at Theatre Nepean back in 1989 and 90. He was one of the few lecturers back then who led with a compliment after presenting a bit of work rather than leading with a criticism. I vividly recall him saying to me after presenting a scene from Waiting For Godot in second year that I was great and could make a living out of it… well I have… I was 18 then – his infectious love and passion for theatre was re-kindled in me – and for that I’ll always carry him in my heart. Much love to you at this time – both James and you are in my thoughts.
Take care
Stevie Rodgers
bless you….what a beautiful tribute to a fine man…im sure James is smiling
There is nothing anyone can possibly add to what you have written about him. I shall not even try.
Sweet farewell to dear sweet, funny, clever James Waites – a brave and gentle soul who endured some hard knocks but always rallied to enjoy life to the full and to give joy to those around him. I knew James for some twenty years, first in my working life in the National Library of Australia where he contributed interviews with significant Australians as part of the Oral History Program. James brought great dedication and commitment to this work which he continued right to the end of his life.
More recently, living in Sydney, I got to know James on a more personal level dining with him and friends at home or at some local restaurant. James was always such lively, chirpy , happy company but at the same time always critically astute and sure of his judgement.
My partner Clive Faro and I understood his fragility as his health began to fade. We mourn his too early departure and we join with others in celebrating his brightly lit and generous life.
Unfortunately….a dying breed.
Hopefully the seed has been planted,by all you have touched.;))xxRIP
Unfortunately a dying breed of soul…..hopefully the seed has been planted into all,that you have touched.xx;)) R I P
So shocked to hear of the death of James Waites. I love what you have written about him, Gus. He was all you say – a man of integrity and humanity with a passion for good art and an unerring eye for the flummery and the lazy. He was the best theatre critic Australia ever had even though the SMH, to its everlasting shame, failed to support him. He loved your writing, Gus, and told me that you would carry on his work after he was gone. I send you my love in this time of grief and my hopes for the future.
Beautiful memories, Augusta. Thanks for sharing them with us.
Thinking of you now and especially over the next few days during this extremely difficult time.
a man of courage and sympatico
James well lived and much loved for his courage and commitment
thank you
please let me know when the funeral is
Judy
this is a beautiful tribute augusta, honouring james in a manner he’d surely appreciate.
thank you.
love and strength, love and peace xo
He will be massively missed. I did not know him well, but he visited my house twice – an internet comment made him go to great effort to get me tickets to a show I’d otherwise have missed, almost a year ago (and to make a visit down to canberra to accompany me). He came back for another show, and was equally gentelmanly. I got to visit his house twice too. We didn’t always agree, but I am grateful I could call him a friend. And regretful that I didn’t spend longer with him. I … thought there’d be more time.
thanks for a lovely tribute; I knew him, not well, but for very many years and I am sad he is gone
(ps. I’m up in Sydney Saturday afternoon. If you need help with James’ papers or any other assistance, let me know)
Gorgeous remembrance. Thank you both.
Thank you Augusta. Kim remembering Jim and Rex
So glad he found such a good friend in you Augusta. Please let me know what the arrangements are for Jim’s funeral. I will miss him hugely. Let me know if there’s anything I can help with xx
Dear Augusta, thank you so much for this tribute. So full of love for him, for a man who was so full of love himself. My thoughts are with you and with darling Maggie.
James was like a Jack Russel Terrier, intense, annoying, giving, stimulating, who could play with words and concepts back and forth like a Frisbee in the park for hours, then suddenly fall asleep by the fire… What other brain would accept the offer to come inside an arts company and critique the process of making work, day after day… on into years sometimes, seeing the raw stuff and the good stuff and exploring the process and the content with his astringent eye and ear? Who would have that dedication except James? It’s so easy to romanticise a life in these moments and James would’ve hated that… but I loved the contribution he made with his years well lived. I love how wicked he could be, I love (now) how cantankerous he could be, how blinkered and open at the same time. What a facility he had at his disposal, and I love how he shared it. I’m glad he enjoyed the quality of your friendship and found trust and loyalty in you. Thanks for your words and care in the mortality of this. (Scott Rankin – for others who worked on our stuff and loved his time with us.)
You made James so happy and proud of you Gus and we all thank you for that.
I am so sorry Augusta. My condolences to you and all his loved ones. I didn’t know James Waites but I have read his words so even in my own small way I feel the impact of his life and passing. Rest In Peace.
“I say the truth is unfathomable and the phrase snags in my throat, a trope already taken from the sea. I catch myself saying fathom again: a word that once meant embrace, and then the length from arm to arm of rope or water, and now means understanding. ” (Robin Beth Schaer, ‘Falling Overboard’, The Paris Review, Nov 2012)
I am so sorry for your loss, for this hard journey into depthless waters without him. xx
I loved him. I just loved him. Him, and his writing, and his conversation and his observations. That is all. Vale Jim. X
Thank you for these words, Augusta, when feeling so bereft of the means, bereft, bereft of Jim. Vale, James Waites. x y
Augusta,
I met James when I came to speak in Sydney this year and hve a workshop
of a show I’m working on called Everything Is Subject to Change.
Our mutual friend Ken Wark introduced us and we spent a day together.
He was a correspondent in the old-fashioned sense of the word and so he know I was interested in Sydney’s theatre and LGBT history.
So when he came I meet me he brought books and a folder of photos.
I re-lived the 80s with him and heard about his life and loves. How he’d gone to Catholic school, which he wrote more about after. How e was honest about how deep te abuse was there. That he felt the Pope was pushed out because of it. About his accident, becoming a writer. He clearly loved out loud and with great heart and mind. He’d had so much difficulty to live through but he was full of what he loved and the wonderful theatre there. We took the Ferry to the Zoo. He came to my performance and have me such lovig support and presence. He knew so much and cared so much. You couldn’t have a better person in the room while wiring and performing a deeply personal piece. He told me about how he’d come back to swimming and how he loved tr web which would let him wrote in small amounts at a time. He appreciated an worked with the clear constraints he had. So many. So much challenge and even unfairness as yet he felt so profoundly optimistic, grateful, full of heart. He gave me a little postcard of koalas to remember our day by. I had no no idea e was anywhere close to death. His frailties didn’t seem anything close to his spirit. And so I am in Oakland CA crying. He was a beautiful person. I can’t believe I won’t get his advice on the show or hear his opinion on Sochi or the latest play he’d seen. Perhaps this is all dramatic and odd for someone who spent only a day with him but td all true. I am so glad he had someone like you Augusta and I am so sorry fr your loss an that I won’t be able to come remember him with you in person. I’m sure it’s an amazing lot of people whom he touched.
Simply one of the most beautiful tributes I have ever read. Thank you so much. Tears…
I spoke with James on Saturday night at the opening of Long Way Home. So lovely to see him again. Such a warm man, gentle, with a twinkle in his eye. I’m so sad to hear that he’s no longer with us. James taught me at Theatre Nepean (with Stevie Rodgers), and apart from being a brilliant and inspiring teacher, has always been unfailingly supportive ever since. I’ll truly miss bumping into him in the foyer again, as all of us will. Much love to all.
Devestating news and a beautiful tribute. James and I were at uni together and no matter the time between contacts the friendship carried on where it last left off. The three amigos from those days – James, Bruce Keller and Lance Curtis, together once more. Please let me know when the funeral will be. Vale dear James.
A beautiful, shining, brilliant tribute to the most excellent Jim… Thanks so much Augusta… and blessings upon you.
We need more quirky ratbags. And more beautiful men like James Waites. Thank you, Augusta for this tribute and these memories.
Thank you, Augusta, for such a beautiful valedictory to one whose presence among us will be sadly missed by so many. Love and condolences.
It’s amazing to hear so many stories about Jim. I only knew him for 20 years, and he was always a very humble soul. His words were his sword fighting for & supporting others. He recently gave us Patti Smith’s book ‘Just Kids’ & recommended we read it. How many other kind generous & amazing stories there must be about him. I know he was an eloquent writer & ratbag, but he was much much more. I’m happy he is at peace, when we spoke last week, he wasn’t at all happy. He swam to relieve his pain, he swam to death to ensure he went the way he wanted to go. Brave Brave man. thank you to all of the stories he has left behind James would like them all. ( and to Brett, who got the phone call. Lots of love).x
oh Gus. James rang me at home at the end of last year because he was worried about something i had said. We talked then about death and life and this strange beautiful perplexing journey. I am deeply saddened and quite shellshocked not perhaps because James has died but because James didn’t get better. Stupid of me. Except James would understand because along with all those things he was, he was so very kind. Much love darling girl. xxxx
Lovely tribute to a lovely man. We will all miss him.
The sadness I feel is eased knowing that you and James shared such a great love of theatre. Please let me know when and where the funeral will be.
Dear Gus, Over so many years James and I met in foyers and had quick, frank discussions about what we had seen, what we were about to see and, together, seemed to cut to the chase of what was right or wrong with the world. – most often in wonderful agreement. More recently, you were often there, with him, and we three would equally chat up a quick storm and seem to agree on art and other things. I shall miss those times greatly. His was always a beautifully honest voice – and no matter what criticisms he held, there was never a hint of venom. Great man. Great writer. Love to you and all
Thankyou Augusta. I loved working with James when he came on board for BighART projects. I remember him, in a dry river bed in Ernabella for Ngapartji Ngapartji, mucking in and shovelling red dirt with all of us – making our stage. Making work with us, in tough conditions, as well as observing and analysing. He lived these experiences in full – he contributed. Condolences xx
Hi Augusta.
What a great and fitting tribute. Great words, for someone who was obviously a very special gentleman and someone who touched so many.
I work at a local newspaper and we would love to do a tribute piece/vale in our upcoming edition, if you could email me, and help in anyway I’d really appreciate it. I think our readers would love to hear about this and hopefully share some memories.
cheers,
Lisa
Hi there Augusta
I just heard that James passed away – I worked with him for about a year or two, when he was editing the Architecture Bulletin and I was working at the Institute of Architects, about 15 years ago. We didn’t stay in touch, but we always ran into each other out and about, and had a lovely catch up. Thanks for your lovely words about Jim.
Matt
Vale James Waites. Such a cornerstone of the queer, performance and arts community. and a stellar human. Thanks for this tribute.
So moving.
My sister brought James to our parents home in Oyster Bay when they both did the drama experience workshop at school. Later we would run into each other at Uni. Then he was the ‘solo’ Grotowski workshop. We never completely lost touch, and it was always with pleasure that I listened to his discussion of the shows we saw together, usually at Belvoir. There is a vast empty space left by his passing!
Thank you Augusta for this tribute, and please let me know of the funeral arrangements.
Geoffrey.
Dear Gus such a brave dignified elegant and poetic tribute to your partner in art.. thankyou for your eloquence in a time of such loss fxxxx
A lovely tribute to an amazing human being. What a talent and what a soul.
I known James for 30 years, he was a drear friend to my children George & Gini . A lovely, smart and sensitive man he will be missed. Rest in peace James
May James be in a place where beauty and grace abounds. It was me and my friend who found his note and I who made the call. What a great friend you are.
All my life I’ve known him as Jim, he was my cousin.
This is a truly beautiful rememberence.